Honoring My Daughters on Their Anniversary
Recently, on September 26, I marked the anniversary of my daughters’ passing. For grieving parents, such dates can be incredibly challenging, often shaping our moods for hours, days, weeks, or even months. Though it’s been nine years since the loss of my daughters, I still vividly recall the intense emotions surrounding the one-month anniversary. The pain was raw, and I felt overwhelming turmoil as the day approached. I remember gripping a friend’s hand tighter and tighter as the hour drew near, unable to fathom how I would remember my daughters in future anniversaries without deepening my own hurt.
Travel was a passion for both of my daughters. By the ages of 23 and 24, they had explored over 20 countries—far more than I had. Their sense of adventure and joy was contagious. As the first-year anniversary approached, I decided to honor them by traveling during that anniversary week. Since then, I’ve made it a tradition to journey both abroad and within the U.S. Every year, I light candles for them in quiet, peaceful places—empty churches, monasteries, temples, or simply the room I’m staying in. This time of reflection helps me celebrate their lives and accomplishments, filling my heart with memories of their smiles and adventures.
In the years following their passing, I’ve visited places that held special meaning for us—Wisconsin, England, Spain, Italy, Greece, Sedona, and Guatemala. I choose destinations where we had shared experiences or had planned to go together. My love of art drives my itinerary; I visit museums, attend special exhibitions, and explore UNESCO sites. I take cooking classes, capture moments through photography, and even join painting workshops. These activities have helped me on my path, blending grief with healing.
While anniversaries are undeniably painful, I’ve embraced this opportunity to open my heart and engage in activities that bring me joy. Each trip leaves me feeling renewed and at peace, allowing me to honor my daughters’ memory in a meaningful way.
I never spend anniversaries alone or in bed; instead, I celebrate my daughters’ spirits by surrounding myself with my oldest daughter, family, and dear friends. Each of our children had unique interests and passions, so I choose to honor them by engaging in activities related to their hobbies on these special days. By incorporating these meaningful pursuits alongside those that nurture my soul, I create a space for healing and remembrance.
